Anger is something that we all feel at one time or another. The nature of anger is such that it can quickly spiral out of control if we don’t manage it, leaving a trail of hurt and regret in its wake. Think of it like fire: it can be useful when kept in check, but disastrous if it spreads uncontrollably. Unchecked anger can damage relationships, lead to physical and emotional harm, and even affect our spiritual well-being. In this article, we’ll explore how anger can impact our lives and why it’s so important to take control of it before it takes control of us.
This article examines the detrimental effects of uncontrolled anger on individuals, relationships, and society.
The Harms of Anger
Anger often leads a person to exceed the limits set by Shariah, which results in harm. So, what are the specific harms caused by anger? Let’s explore them.
1. Affects the Intellect
One of the most significant consequences of anger is its effect on the intellect. When a person becomes angry, their ability to think clearly is compromised. Ibn Hibban, may Allah have mercy on him, explains that the quickest and most effective responder is the one who remains calm and not angry. When someone provokes you, if you do not let your anger control you and instead endure the situation, you will be able to respond more effectively and correctly. However, if you let anger take over, you will not be able to provide the right response. This often happens during an argument, where anger can cause you to say things you wouldn’t normally say. Even if you are right, your words may not reflect that because of the anger. You may get carried away, say things you don’t mean, and lose control of the situation. This can lead to insults and hurtful statements that only make things worse.
After such arguments, you may find yourself feeling regret or even physical discomfort, like a headache. You may also end up taking out your frustration on those around you, like shouting at your wife, even though the cause of your anger wasn’t related to them. The foremost harm of anger is that it affects a person’s ability to think clearly and make wise decisions.
2. Prevents Justice
Anger can prevent a person from being just. It leads a person away from fairness and causes them to act in ways that are unfair and oppressive. The Prophet ﷺ warned against making Judgements while angry. He ﷺ said,
لاَ يَحْكُمْ أَحَدٌ بَيْنَ اثْنَيْنِ وَهُوَ غَضْبَانُ
“None of you should judge between two persons when he is angry.”
(Saheeh Muslim, Kitaab al Aqdiyah, Hadith 1717)
In a state of anger, a person is not able to see what is right or wrong; they just react without thinking. For example, someone might shout, “Hit him, hit him,” which can make the situation worse. This kind of reaction is wrong because it leads to injustice rather than justice.
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasised in the narrations found in Saheeh al Bukhari and Saheeh al Muslim that no ruler should make decisions when they are angry. Even though a ruler has authority, making decisions while angry can lead to unfair Judgements. To make a just decision, a person must be calm and clear-headed. A judge, for instance, should not make decisions when they are hungry, tired, or in a bad mood. Such states affect judgement and lead to decisions that are not fair. A person must be in a fresh state of mind to make the right choices.
One example of how anger affects decision-making can be seen in a situation between a husband and wife. When both are angry and cannot tolerate each other, they may want to resolve the issue quickly. However, in their anger, they may make wrong decisions, arguments may grow, and the in-laws may get involved, which only makes things worse. If both sides make decisions while angry, it will not lead to a fair or peaceful solution. The anger blinds them to the right choices.
When a person goes beyond the limit of their anger, they lose the ability to make the right decisions. Instead of justice, they may make decisions that are oppressive. This is why it is so important to control anger. When we are angry, we may act in ways that are unfair, and this can lead to harm and injustice. Therefore, controlling anger is essential for making fair and just decisions.
3. Destruction Followed by Regret
When anger goes beyond a certain limit, it can lead to the destruction of things that are actually beneficial to the person. After the anger fades, the individual often regrets their actions. For example, after having an argument with a spouse, the person might throw their mobile phone against the wall. Once the anger passes, they are left wondering, “Why did I do that?” “Was it really their fault?” This reaction occurs because, in the heat of the moment, something inside the person snapped, causing them to destroy something they would normally value.
Once the anger subsides, the person may feel deep regret for their actions. They realize that their outburst led to unnecessary damage. In some cases, the damage might be minor, but in other situations, it can be a significant loss. For example, a person might cause damage worth a large sum, like breaking something valuable or even harming their car out of frustration. Later, they sit back and question why they allowed their anger to get the best of them.
Anger can cause a person to harm their own belongings. The consequences of acting out in anger can range from small, temporary losses to large and costly damages. Afterward, the person might wonder why something as valuable as their car or mobile phone got damaged. Ultimately, they realise that their own uncontrolled anger was the root cause, leaving them to reflect on their actions.
4. Loss of Control on Speech and Dignity
When a person gets angry, their tongue loses control, which can lead to a lot of harm. The person may start cursing or saying hurtful things, things they would never say when they are calm. This loss of control in anger can make the tongue behave in a way that goes against the person’s usual character. Later, when the anger fades and the person sees those they’ve spoken to, they might regret their words. They may think, “We thought well of him before, but look at what’s coming out of his mouth now.” The person often doesn’t realize the damage they have caused in that moment of anger.
This kind of speech damages the person’s reputation and dignity. After the angry outburst, the person might feel deep regret for what they said, but by then, the damage is already done. The people around them, who once held them in high regard, may now see them differently. The respect that existed before has been broken. In these moments, the person’s bond with others weakens, and the regret begins to grow. The tongue, once under control, acts wrongly, and this can lead to lasting feelings of sorrow, as the person wishes they could take their words back.
5. Impacts Relationships
In moments of anger, a person may say things to someone they love that hurt their feelings deeply. This can lead to a shift in the relationship, turning warmth and affection into feelings of hatred and enmity. For example, a husband might come home late from work and, when asked why he was late, he might respond in anger, instead saying harsh things like, “Dont
tell me what to do or not, first you should come on time,” or ” like, “You should get ready faster. You’re always late.” His words might become even sharper.
Even though the husband may try to lighten the mood with a joke afterward, the damage has already been done. The wife feels insulted, and her heart becomes filled with hurt. The pain caused by such words often lingers and does not easily go away. What was once a close bond is now affected by anger, and sometimes, the words spoken in anger can turn a friendship into enmity. The wound left in the heart stays, causing lasting damage to the relationship.
6. Breaks Kinship
Anger breaks relationships and causes deep divisions between people. In moments of rage, a person may say something harsh that causes the relationship to end. Simple words like, “You go your way, and I’ll go mine,” can lead to the complete breakdown of a bond. This often happens in the heat of the moment, such as during disagreements in marriages or even at sensitive times like funerals.
For example, people might argue at weddings or funerals, where emotions are already high, and say things like, “You said this, and I said that.” These words can quickly escalate into a fight. One person may leave, taking their spouse with them, and declare, “We will never come back,” ending the relationship right there. Often, it is the inability to tolerate even a small amount of harsh words that causes these kinds of breakups. In anger, words are spoken that can tear apart relationships, even those that have lasted for many years.
7. Majority Divorces
Anger results in serious and often irreversible decisions of divorces. In a moment of rage, a person may say things they don’t mean, such as giving their spouse a divorce. After the anger fades and they have time to think, they may regret their words and wonder what they’ve done. That is why you find around us that the majority of the divorces are a result of decision taken in the state of anger.
For example, people might argue at weddings or funerals, where emotions are already high, and say things like, “You said this, and I said that.” These words can quickly escalate into a fight. One person may leave, taking their spouse with them, and declare, “We will never come back,” ending the relationship right there. Often, it is the inability to tolerate even a small amount of harsh words that causes these kinds of breakups. In anger, words are spoken that can tear apart relationships, even those that have lasted for many years.
8. Physical Violence and Loss
Anger can go up to extreme actions, including physical fights or even murder. When a person becomes so angry, they may lose control and severely beat someone, whether it’s their children, spouse, a friend, or a relative. In some cases, the beating may be so violent that the person ends up in the hospital, or even worse, loses their life.
The angered person may not fully realize the severity of their actions in the moment, but the consequences can be life-changing. The harm caused by anger can be so extreme that it leads to permanent damage or death. In these situations, the person who acted in anger suffers the greatest loss, as they not only cause pain to others but also destroy their own peace and dignity.
9. Major Cursing
In moments of anger, a person may even curse others, sometimes including themselves. For example, a woman, when upset, might curse her children, saying things like, “May you get run over by a car,” or “Why didn’t you die? You’re useless for not bringing anything from the market.” These words, spoken in anger, can be deeply harmful, and they may stay with the person on the receiving end for a long time.
In anger, the tongue can lead to destructive words and bad prayers, either directed at others or even at oneself. These harsh words can cause lasting damage to relationships and create negative feelings that are difficult to heal.
The angered person may not fully realize the severity of their actions in the moment, but the consequences can be life-changing. The harm caused by anger can be so extreme that it leads to permanent damage or death. In these situations, the person who acted in anger suffers the greatest loss, as they not only cause pain to others but also destroy their own peace and dignity.
10. Leads to Disbelief in Allaah
Anger can even lead a person to disbelief. If a person is confronted by someone with the words of Allah and His Messenger, and those words go against their desires, their anger may cause them to reject these teachings entirely. In their anger, they might choose to turn away from the path of faith. This shows how dangerous unchecked anger can be—it can lead to a person losing their faith.
These are just ten of the harms of anger, but there are many more. Anger can cause a person to experience great losses, affecting not only their relationships and peace of mind but also their connection with Allah.
In anger, the tongue can lead to destructive words and bad prayers, either directed at others or even at oneself. These harsh words can cause lasting damage to relationships and create negative feelings that are difficult to heal.
The angered person may not fully realize the severity of their actions in the moment, but the consequences can be life-changing. The harm caused by anger can be so extreme that it leads to permanent damage or death. In these situations, the person who acted in anger suffers the greatest loss, as they not only cause pain to others but also destroy their own peace and dignity.
Conclusion
Anger, if left unchecked, often leaves behind regrets—broken relationships, missed chances to show kindness, and harm to our own well-being. It affects not just how we treat others but also our physical, mental, and spiritual health. Learning to manage anger isn’t just a mark of emotional growth; it’s something our Creator has guided us to do. By understanding its harmful effects we can take steps to respond with patience and self-control, fostering stronger relationships and a sense of inner peace. At the heart of it all, controlling anger isn’t just about avoiding harm, it’s about preserving our dignity, treating others with fairness and most importantly, seeking the pleasure of Allah.
These are just ten of the harms of anger, but there are many more. Anger can cause a person to experience great losses, affecting not only their relationships and peace of mind but also their connection with Allah.
In anger, the tongue can lead to destructive words and bad prayers, either directed at others or even at oneself. These harsh words can cause lasting damage to relationships and create negative feelings that are difficult to heal.
The angered person may not fully realize the severity of their actions in the moment, but the consequences can be life-changing. The harm caused by anger can be so extreme that it leads to permanent damage or death. In these situations, the person who acted in anger suffers the greatest loss, as they not only cause pain to others but also destroy their own peace and dignity.
